I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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