my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
