We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
