Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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