She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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