Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
