I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
