what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Welp...herpes.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
