I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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