Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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