WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize