just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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