Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
