I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize