Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
