Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
