..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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