he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
