Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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