Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
