The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
