YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
