Fuck appropriateness.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
