i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize