Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
