I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize