is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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