Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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