Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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