shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
