Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Randomize
