It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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