ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
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You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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