Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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