well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
