She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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