Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
