I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
