the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
