"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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