Don't make out with my wife yet
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
