For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
