if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
