Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The air was thick with penises
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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