New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
