a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
A bitchslap is in order.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
