girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
