her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
