THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
