You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
