We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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