I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
