Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she pinky promised me she was 18
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
