How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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