It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
