i would punch a child for taco bell
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
