I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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