Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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