i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
